theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
zippers are such a cool invention
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Randomize
