Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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