You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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