Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Please don't give away my fajitas
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
