So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Less talking, more tequila
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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