idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
