it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Drake has all the answers
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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