Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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