where am i from again
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
