I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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