My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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