I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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