I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
