and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
