the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
