I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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