I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's shark week go big or go home
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
