DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
