You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
BRING THE BAGELS
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
