Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
