she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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