So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
