I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
