hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
