I accidentally burped into my bong.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
