We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
