i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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