hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
