You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
