She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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