If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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