Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
