yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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