I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
