yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
