Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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