Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
