I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
you never un-have a 4some
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
