She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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