There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
