Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
