Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
