I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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