My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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