The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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