Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
