Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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