out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
