New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
