I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
