just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Drunk is a universal language darling
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
